Being 100% Committed in Your Relationships

Have you ever felt that a relationship you care deeply about has been going through a rough patch? Whether it be with a spouse, family member, or friend – you just can’t seem to figure out why the relationship isn’t the way it used to be. When this happens, it’s easy to blame the other person. However, sometimes we need to be introspective and ask ourselves “Have I been 100% committed to this relationship?”

There are many reasons that we might not be 100% committed in our relationships. This can be because:

• We are openly upset with the other person
• We are passive-aggressively upset with the other person
• We are busy and not prioritizing the relationship
• We are taking the relationship for granted

Being upset with the other person

Whether it’s openly or not, being upset with the other person will usually lead us to not giving 100% in our relationship with said person. This is because we feel slighted or unappreciated or like we are putting in more effort than they are so we pull back. Even worse is when BOTH people feel this way and neither wants to make the first move to repair the relationship.

When we do this, we do not realize that we are playing a huge factor in allowing the relationship to fall apart. Without intentional effort, the relationship is doomed to fail.

Nothing in life, whether it is your relationships, your career, etc. can truly flourish when you are not fully committed.

If you are currently going through this with someone in your life, I encourage you to take the time and reflect. Ask yourself:

• Do I still care about this person?
• Is this relationship still serving me?
• Am I better off with them in my life or out of it?

If the answer to all of these is yes, it might be time to be the bigger person, forgive them, and rekindle the relationship. However, if the answer is no, this relationship may have run its course, and its time to move on.

Being too busy for the other person

No matter how busy we are in everyday life one constant remains true:

We make time for the things that we value and consider important.

Keep in mind that you will not always be able to give your 100% into every relationship 100% of the time. There might be days, weeks, or even months where you can only commit 50% of yourself to that relationship.

For example, say you begin a new job – your dream job in – that you are extremely committed to. To learn the ropes, you are putting in 50-60 hours per week, plus helping out with the housework, prioritizing your spouse and kids, and still participating as a volunteer member of your community that you had previously committed to. Because of all this, you don’t have the time to spend with your best friend like you used to.

That doesn’t mean that the relationship needs to end. It’s probably not even a cause for concern. A good friend would understand how busy you are and once things calm down you would go back to giving 100% into that relationship.

However, if you are not prioritizing the other person simply because you think you are “too busy” then you should stop to ask yourself how important that person and relationship truly is to you. It might be time to re-evaluate your priorities or it might be time to end that relationship.

Taking the relationship for granted

If you’ve read this far, you probably have a good idea if you have been taking a specific relationship for granted. If so, it’s not too late to apologize. Alternatively, just beginning to put more effort into the relationship to strengthen it can be just as good, if not better, than an apology.

Conclusion

Ultimately, you need to reflect and decide if the relationships in your life are still benefiting you. If they are not, it might just be time to let them go. That certainly happens and is totally fine. Not every relationship is meant to last. However, if they are still benefitting you then make the effort.

Start being more present. Start prioritizing. Even doing small things will seem like big things at first. You can also ask the other person how you can better commit to them. It’s a fresh start for both parties to put their best foot forward, then the other foot, and walk the road together.

So today I challenge you to do 2 things:

1. Be introspective and look at what relationships in your life deserve more attention. Is there a relationship you haven’t been nurturing as you should?
2. Everything you do today, do with 100%. When you have a conversation with a family member on the phone, be 100% present. For every task, conversation, or minute detail of your day, give 100% to it.

Was there a time you were able to realize your actions and make a meaningful relationship in your life work? Let me know in the comments or email me at eric@ericgolban.com with your story!